Friday, April 13, 2012
At some point or another, most of us seem to find ourselves perusing the isles at Wal-Mart, whether it's to buy groceries for the family or electronics or some other thing you can think of which they mostly likely have somewhere. However, on occasion, I find myself strolling those isles for one purpose: to encounter someone which I would almost certainly never encounter anywhere else. Oddballs, crazies, thieves, nerds, hippies, and anyone in between. Well, in my case this evening, I was with my friend Matt and we were on the lookout to find someone that fit easily into one of these categories. We just finished rummaging through the $5 DVD bin and spotted them: two guys, one older with tattoos and a big jacket, and one younger, with a backwards baseball cap and enough lip rings to make a diabetic squeamish of needles. For some reason, we knew they would be great candidates. We casually followed behind them through various isles. Was it creepy on our part? Most likely...but we were on a mission! We eventually made our way past the night workers unpacking boxes and stocking the shelves, to the alcohol. Matt had to make a call to his wife, so I decided to continue down the isle where these guys were contemplating how "hammered" they wanted to become that night. The older guy stared at me as I approached, so to be polite, I said "How's it goin?" He quickly answered "Sup Fairy." Was I hearing this right? This dude just called me a fairy and I'm gonna let this happen without responding at all? Yes indeed. Not wanting to cause trouble, I waited for Matt to get off the phone and explained to him the situation. We both started laughing as we made our way down another isle. As we did this, the man continued to call us fairy's. He thought we were gay! It seems to be that two guys cannot hang out as bros at Wal-Mart anymore without being labeled. Well, we continued to laughed about it for a few minutes as the guy passed us and mumbled obscenities under his breath. We both started to get a little heated and considered our options of meeting these silly drunks outside in the parking lot for a some face beatings. Nobody calls us fairies! We are grown men with wives! We go to bed a 10 pm on the weekends! We were determined not to let this get the best of us. So, we did what any admirable person would do: we spied on them. Who were we kidding, we weren't gonna fight anyone. My pancreas is in no shape to pummel someone, although it doesn't work so I think the benefit far outweighs the cost ;) I can't say that some flashbacks of glorious UFC fights didn't play through my head as I thought about if the situation had come to that, but those glory days may just have to take me away in my dreams. Not only did we learn that we severely disliked being called fairy's, but we also gained a better understanding of others who are gay and sometimes encounter situations like that on a daily basis and how difficult that must be; it's unfortunate. Bottom line is,judging people just gives good stories for husbands to come home and share with their wives and twist to make themselves appear more awesome than they already are!