Thursday, November 10, 2011

Coon Catastrophe!

I did it. I never thought I would join the club. Here's how it went down (sorry that's new age lingo: here are the details to this story). I was on my way to school just texting and driving (yeah yeah it's against the law, but don't act like you haven't done it) and so I'm kind of paying attention to the road and kind of trying to make sure I don't get pulled over for the Second time this week, and then, out of nowhere, I see a dead raccoon laying dead in the road with all four of his legs up in the air. I had about half a second to react to this so I did what any person would have done in my situation: I didn't react quick enough and boom! I ran over the already-dead raccoon. (Now, I love animals don't get the wrong impression, I'm just giving you all the details). Never in a million years did I think that I would have join the club that hits the dead roadkill on the side of the road (in my case, right on the side of my lane), but I did. Good luck trying to pay attention in class when your the Second person to murder a poor helpless raccoon! I did feel bad I must say. I replayed the situation over and over in my head. What could I have done differently? Some would argue I could have reacted quicker, but then I would probably just blame it on the diabetes because I like to do that for the sake of arguing and it gets a rise out of people. Needless to say, the rest of my day was just bland. A raccoon was Definitely dead because of me, and it's weighing on my soul pretty heavily. There, I did it; I shared my story. I got the dirt out,aired my dirty laundry. Now, I hope that situation never arises, but next time I am driving down the road texting, I will pay specific attention to the "obstacles" that can turn that frown upside-down. (wait...take your grin and make it dim, that's more accurate)

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Oh the toys we have for children!

So, today I was headed out of town with my wife.  That is usually one of my favorite things to do because it means on our way out of town we get to eat out at whatever restaurant pleases our fancy.  We decided to go to Burger King.  I love eating out period, so Burger King was just the way to start out our adventure.  After we ordered our food, I decided to take a look around.  Ever since I was a kid, I have always liked vending machines and even the little 25 cent machines that have stickers, tattoos, and little toys.  I hate carrying change in my pocket, so these machines are kind enough to relieve me of this stress.  Anyway, as I glanced over the machines, one of them really caught my eye.  Yes, it was the machine that had both skull rings and String Dolls.  Now, when you think of a string doll, what comes to mind?  To me, I think "Oh, possibly a cute little doll that someone far, far away made that just might make kids smile for a day or two."  But, these string dolls were a lot different than I imagined.  In fact, they looked like little voodoo dolls.  Really?  Voodoo dolls in the little vending machines at Burger King?  I'm surprised there wasn't a little warning at the bottom that said "Must be seriously disturbed and understand fully the repercussions of this toy."  It gave me quite a laugh needless to say.  Maybe their target audience wasn't little kids or maybe it was.  Regardless, it was an interesting encounter and it may or may not have raised my blood sugar a little bit out of sheer wonderment.  So, if you would like a voodoo doll or "string doll", they are only 75 cents (I know, a bit pricey) at a Burger King near you! 

Friday, November 4, 2011

The Big Halloween Dilemma

We go through the same dilemma every year when Halloween comes around: what are we going to "be?"  Well, every year never ceases to show new types of creativity.  Some prefer to be creepy (involving scary and creepy dirt bags) and others tend to be more practical.  Despite all of the different costumes, 2 things are clear every Halloween: mustaches are growing in popularity and more and more women are dressing as Indians so they can wear the least amount of clothes possible.  I'm not hear to judge, because I appreciate a good costume.  However, what do you think was going through the mind of the kid I saw the other day dressed as Hitler?  "Hmm...well, my friends have mustaches....Who is a person that really personifies the mustache?  I can't be Tom Selleck because I can't grow a mustache thick enough, I don't want to be a white trash guy with a mullet because everyone does that.  How about Hitler?  Yes, it's settled.  I will shave a mini mustache, slap a big Swastika on a coat, and walk around campus making people even more uncomfortable than the other half-naked people running around."  Now, maybe I'm crazy in thinking this, and maybe I should give the kid the benefit of the doubt and say he probably had a good argument as to why he dressed as Hitler, but you gotta wonder a little what's going on upstairs.  So, I guess the moral of this story would be as follows: when Halloween comes around and you start contemplating your costume and the thought enters your mind to dress as Hitler, don't.  

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Here We Go!

Hello everyone, my name is CAM.  Let me start by telling you a little bit about myself and my whole goal with this blog.  About this time last year, I began trying to figure out what to do with my life.  It really seemed that I had everything going against me.  I do have diabetes (the good type-there really isn't a good type but I like mine better than the other).  What guy in his mid-20's has diabetes?  Doesn't every commercial on TV have some old person saying "Do you have diabetes and love food? Well then you need this product blah blah blah if you have medicaid."  Well, who doesn't love food for craps sake?!  Sorry that was a little rant.  Anyway, not too long ago I got sleep apnea.  It's not so bad if your goal is to become like Darth Vader and your okay with everyone thinking that your really a 50 yr old man inside a 25 yr old body.  So, with these two wondrous challenges, I began to think "How am I supposed to get a girlfriend?  I have no money (college student), diabetes, and sleep apnea, how can I find someone to look past that all?"  Well, despite the odds, I found a wonderful, beautiful, talented woman who has been able to look past those things that I thought were complete "deal-breakers."  I gave her every opportunity to ditch me, but I guess in the end, she just couldn't resist this.  And obviously, I couldn't stand being without her.  We have been married five short months now and have enjoyed every minute of it.  So, there is part of my inspiration.  However, my goal is this: I think that there needs to be more laughter, more situations which we can look at and find humor.  An example of this would be as follows, which happened to me yesterday in which my pride is still being mended:  "It's not everyday that you are running because you are late to class, trip and hit the cement at an alarming rate in front of a dozen other college students who deep down are laughing hysterically but decide to do the even more humiliating thing and say 'Oh my goodness, are you okay?'  Ha, of course I'm not going to admit it and say that it hurt like a mother."  Okay, you get my drift?  In reality these things happen and can be viewed as a speed-bump OR a ramp in your day-to-day activities.  I find humorous things all over the place.  Sometimes they are ridiculous, sometimes they are inappropriate, sometimes they are appalling, and sometimes they just plain don't make sense, but for some reason bring a smile to our face.  It's okay to find humor in your day.  Granted, you may not want to laugh at the kid that just ate it as he ran across the road because that would be heartless, but you know sometimes, deep down, it is begging to be shared with everyone so you can laugh hysterically.